Hell’s Kitchen was in the top 3 of tables I’d been dying to try… consequently the level of anticipation seemingly matched the level of disappointment…

My dad was in town and he appreciates the finer things in life, but at the heart of it – all he wants is a boisterous bar where he can take a world tour of booze. I’d heard much about ado about HK’s pizzas so I was definitely looking forward to it… and lo and behold I luck out to a daily special called the “Christopher Walken” with 2 of my favourite ingredients: duck and walnuts (along with apples).

Walken voice “Wow.”

Yeah. That was a no-brainer.

We also ordered a dish of tempura salmon and yam fries, with a side of ubiquitous Costco greens. This is where it all started going wrong…

REALLY overcooked salmon, with a breading that didn’t really resemble the proper tempura texture. Limp yam fries which didn’t really have much flavour. And… well Costco greens are Costco greens. There was, however, a light drizzle of some balsamico on the fries that just lifted up the fries to not-as-disappointing territory.

The pizza. Oy… the pizza… with all these amazing ingredients – there’s little chance that can go wrong yes? Wrong. I couldn’t taste any individual ingredients – everything kinda melded into this basic boring tomato-ey pizza-roonie mess. A paltry few tears of duck meant it wouldn’t really stand out, and the sweetness/tartness of the apple was nowhere to be found. Perhaps with a different base – not necessarily tomato, and maybe a different cheese – this dish could’ve reached the true heights it was reaching for. Sadly in the form that I forced down, it was simply forgettable.

By the time we were half done with the meal, the prevailing thought in my mind was: “I wonder if Fuel can seat us immediately.”