Just like Pirates of the Caribbean III, a pirate can always find a good port in China. After a long 2 weeks of mundane trivialities, I decided it was time for a dinner date with the Captain’s Wench! (Good thing I’m the captain or this review might’ave turned out a wee bit different! Arrrrrgh!) So, after setting the dogs in front of their bowls of food, the kids in front of their happy meals (I’ve always wondered what makes a meal happy, but that’s another story) and making sure the iron was turned off, the wench and I set sail for ports unknown.

I’d heard about a good Chinese restaurant called China First and we decided to try it out. The outside of the building was a bit less than most would find acceptable, but then again, what’s a pirate to do? Start being picky if the white wash is a little faded and there’s moss on the roof? Besides, my motto is, “If the outsides dilapidated, the food’s gotta be great!”

Ok, so sometimes my motto fails me but this time it didn’t. We were met at the door by the owner of the restaurant and shown to our seats quickly. The decorations inside were a bit above the norm for most Chinese restaurants I’ve been in.

The waiter came right over and served us Green Tea and gave us our menus and welcomed us to the restaurant. After a bit of negotiations between the wench and I we ordered.

Appetizer: Fried Won Ton with Sake Soup: Egg Flower Soup Main Course for the Captain: BBQ Pork with Sweet Peas and Water Chestnuts Main Course for the Captains Wench: Shrimp Chow Mein with crunchy noodles.

Too bad I’ve only got a pirates vocabulary or I’d wax poetic about the delicately fried won tons that tasted as if a slice of heaven had been placed on my plate for my enjoyment alone and the perfection of the kick in the sake served at precisely the right temperature.

If the effort of stringing more then 3 words into a sentence that didn’t include “Arrrrgh” somewhere in it wasn, I’d describe in minute details the sensation of the delicately seasoned Egg Flower soup with it’s vegetables cooked to just the right texture and you slowly savored each and every spoonful.

If I wasn’t too busy worrying about keelhauling some scurvy dog, I’d be able to tell you that if I was on death row and it was time for my final meal, I’m want it to be the main course I had tonight. I’d tell you that the BBS Pork was as tender and soft as a newly built Build-A-Bear Teddy Bear. I’d be able to describe the sensation of the spices and the flavors as each item in the main course combined together in a magnificent crescendo of taste sensations. How the water chestnuts were still crunchy while the sweet peas were soft and chewable and the onions still crunchy and sweet.

But I can’t. I’m but a simple pirate and words like those are beyond my station so alls I can say is this:

To heck with the rest of the scurvy dogs on the crew, this one’s reserved for the Captain himself!

Oh! I almost forgot to mention the Plum Wine we had with dinner was perfectly sweet and delectable! But I won’t mention it because everyone knows a pirate only drinks Rum and Grog!