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July 5, 20121.0
I have no idea why I was so surprised to find out that someone who would allow himself to be called “Maniac” Mike has an anger problem but, there you go, I was.
I’ve heard so many good things about this place and this morning, for the first time, I went there with my wife and a friend of ours, who really loves eating there. She brought her six-year-old son with her and we sat outside on the patio. The tables on the patio are wrought-iron tables and they have tiles in them, forming the surface of the table. All of the tiles are loose and can easily be removed by hand. I have no idea why you would leave tiles loose like that, it seems to be inviting disaster, especially when so many people like to eat on the patio with their children. But hey, I’m not Maniac Mike and it honestly isn’t any of my business why they’re loose.
So, we got there at 8:40am and were seated immediately since it wasn’t crowded. The waitress was prompt with getting our drinks and taking our order. While we were waiting for our food to arrive, my friend’s six-year old figured out the tile thing and so he went under the table and popped his head through the tile like a jack-in-the-box. He’s a fairly quiet kid and he decided to just stand there in the middle of the table. His mom was careful to move all the drinks so there weren’t any spills and she took the tile and set it off to the side so it didn’t fall, and her kid just stood there quietly while the rest of us talked.
FORTY minutes after ordering, the door behind our table opens up and instead of our food, as we were hoping, this tiny little dude with a Village People mustache (like the one the biker had) comes out and yells at the six-year-old boy, “Would you mind not standing there like that? I’m not a McDonalds, this isn’t a playground!” And then, back into the restaurant he went, and our food still wasn’t there. I looked at my friend and asked her if she still wanted to eat there and she said she didn’t, so we got up and left.
Okay. Here’s the part where I’m going to be as fair as I possibly can be with Maniac Mike. Forty minutes is NOT an impossibly long time to wait if the food is cooked fresh to order. I have no idea if that’s the case or not because we never got to eat the food, we just got lectured like we were children. The food might be great or it might be dog food…I’ll never know. But honestly, this review isn’t about the food, it’s about the angry little troll who owns the business. Here’s another thing, I think is fair to say: We were doing the wrong thing in allowing my friend’s kid to stand like that in the middle of the table. I’ve been thinking about this all day, and there are a dozen reasons we shouldn’t have let him do that, not the least of which is that it’s (remotely) possible that he could have been hurt and then Mike, as the owner of the business could have been held liable for that. We’re not the sort of people who sue, but he doesn’t know that. Another good reason for him not to be standing in the middle of the table with the tile out is that the tile could have fallen and broken and, if Mike didn’t have a spare tile to replace it with, the table would have been rendered completely useless.
Here’s the thing: It’s Mike’s business, he’s allowed to run it however he sees fit. All he had to do was come out and ask us to have the kid sit back in his seat and to put the tile back in place and not do that again. But he chose instead to yell at the six-year-old boy like a bully. If he’d even had the testicular fortitude to come out and yell at me, I might not be as angry with him as I am. As it is, he chose to yell at a child and I decided to create a Yelp account to let everyone know what a complete tool Maniac Mike is.
One final note: I despise people who hide behind the anonymity of the internet when leaving negative reviews about various businesses, so…my name is Tim Hatch. I graduated from Upland High, class of ‘87, and I currently live in Ontario, California. And Mike, you “maniac”, if it turns out you’re not the Luddite you appear to be and you wind up reading this, I’m the giant, seven-foot-tall white guy who called you a d**k this morning. Have a bad day.
These dishes from the Maniac Mike's Cafe menu are contributed by Menuism users directly, as part of a restaurant review, or as part of an image upload.