On Saturday, my friend drove to Boulder to meet her college-age son for lunch at the Dushanbe Teahouse. She couldn’t say anything about the food because she was never seated. She arrived and stood at the hostess station for a good five minutes while the two hostesses chatted with each other, completely ignoring her as she stood right in front of them. Finally, they turned and asked her what she wanted. She said lunch for two and they put her name on a list. The restaurant was fairly empty at that moment, though many tables needed busing. She sat and waited. Meanwhile, in came two other parties who also put their names on the list. After a few moments, both of those parties were seated. My friend went up to the station and remarked she had been there first. The hostesses denied that, saying those parties had been there and come back. My friend said, no, she had seen them put their names down. So the hostesses asked my friend to wait while they looked for a table. After a few minutes, one of the hostesses began walking around the restaurant asking if any of the other people there were my friend, using her name, but walking right past her. Now, most women over fifty know they have become invisible. In Boulder, where youth culture is valued over decency, it is particularly bad—often difficlut to be treated with the same kindness younger people are receiving. My friend is a fairly well-known artist, but that really shouldn’t make any difference. Anyone walking up to the station should be treated with respect. My friend and her son left. He was incensed. She chalked it up to the invisibility of older women. They couldn’t recommend the food because they never got a chance to eat there. I’ve been there. Food is so-so. Nice building of artistic and historical interest. Go peek in, then go somewhere else to eat, especially if you are 1) over fifty, 2) someone’s grandmother, 3) have a grandmother you love, 4) have a mom, 5) value decency over shallowness.