Pasteles Bakery

 897 Riverside Dr
North Grosvenor Dale, CT

Absolutely flawless

This is the best bakery I have ever been to in my entire existence of being a human being, and living, and digesting food and shit.

They have these cheese bagels… and they are out of this world, out of this universe. The cream cheese is so smooth, and rich, and their bagels are so soft & chewy… I’m going to pass out from excitement.

Everything they bake is astounding. Everything they MAKE is astounding! It’s a shame they’re located in such a small town, because they would be ridiculously popular elsewhere.


Jim's Pizza

 [1-65] Riverside Dr
Thompson, CT

Their pizza is what all pizza's should taste like

This is the real deal, folks. All of their food is excellent. I never ordered something, and thought: “Ehh, this was alright” — it’s always: “I WISH I HAD THIS SOONER!”

Their pizza is the best. I don’t even have the words right now to describe how much I love Jim’s Pizza.


Izzy's Pizza Bar & Classic

 1001 Grade St
Kelso, WA

No thanks.

Their food is less than mediocre. It may be a buffet, but it’s a buffet of “who cares”. You can taste how little their preparation is, and it even tastes like canned or ultra-frozen meat. It’s nothing special, and I honestly don’t know how it survives in this economy.

Dry, salty, tasteless, and boring.

That’s the Izzy’s menu.
Yeaah, I’ll pass.


Bruno's Pizza

 1108 Washington Way
Longview, WA


Yes, Bruno’s overloads their pizza with toppings. Yes, their toppings are tasty. Yes, this makes up for roughly 65% of the taste. No, the pizza itself is not very good.

The dough itself, the pizza… is tasteless. It turns into cardboard, and is NOT leftovers friendly. Very stale, and dead. Bruno’s has the problem of quantity over quality.

I don’t want billions of small pepperoni’s on my pizza… I want the full taste.

Other dishes are less impressive, and overall I wouldn’t really recommend them unless someone liked their specific “taste”.


Chinese Garden Restaurant

 1071 15th Ave
Longview, WA

Oh, did I ask for insane amounts of sauce, or food?

If you’re looking for a good, or even decent Chinese restaurant… go elsewhere. I ate at Chinese Garden frequently before I discovered other places, and let me tell you, it’s awful. The beef is dry, the vegetables are stale, and everything… EVERYTHING is drenched in sauce. It’s as if they don’t trust their own cooking, so they just dowse everything in saucesaucesauce. Their crab puffs taste like aged milk, and their food relies on… like I said… their sauce.

The only reason I can think of why people like this restaurant, is because it’s roomy, big, and the decor is very nice. Oorrrrr… their taste buds are numb.

For crying out loud, their vegetables are soggy. SOGGY! Vegetables shouldn’t be soggy!

Skip this shit, seriously.


Golden Palace Restaurant

 1245 14th Ave
Longview, WA

Excellent food here

I’ve been to a few other local Asian-themed restaurants, and left feeling ‘eh’ to ’it’s alright’. This is the first, and so far only one I left on a positive note. The dish sizes are big, and the food has FLAVOR! It’s not just murdered in sauce… you can actually taste the cooking, and the preparations, and the meats, and the vegetables… you get the idea. I got their combination platter #8 — deeeeelicious!

The server was very nice, and I have no complaints at all. I’d definitely return for a second meal.


Judy's Catering

 1036 Washington Way
Longview, WA


A friend of mine kept bragging about Judy’s Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo. As a food skeptic, I was a little unsure, but was very curious about said dish. As we arrived, it was the only thing on my mind, and I got around to ordering. The wait wasn’t long, and before the meal arrived, they brought out a basket of bread with their own cheese sauce for dipping. It was excellent! I ordered a bowl of clam chowder, and as it was placed on the table I could already taste it. The soup is thick, the potatoes are full, and the sauce is incredible; a mountain of flavors. All of this made me eager for the main course, and then it arrived.

Let me make this as clear as possible: I have never, in my life, had a better Fettuccine… never.

I can’t even begin to describe how powerful this dish is. The aroma, the taste, the texture, the pasta… all of it was intoxicating. Everything is made fresh, and you can definitely taste it.

Judy’s is phenomenal, end of story. :D

Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo

Like I said, this was fucking phenomenal.


Pizza Schmizza (CLOSED)

 300 Triangle Ctr, Apt 140
Longview, WA

The best pizza in the Longview/Kelso area, RIP!

The service was friendly, and the food was amazing. The pizza was toasted to perfection, and the crust reminded me of fresh foccacia bread. Their flavors went from traditional (pepperoni), to originals (No Kiss Tonite; chicken, alfredo sauce, red onions, fetta cheese). No other pizza place came close to topping them, and I am very saddened to see them go. If anyone comes across their restaurant, you better stop and taste!

Ol' Hickory Meatza Pizza

Peperoni Favorite Pizza

No Kiss Tonight Chicken Pizza

Cheese Favorite Pizza

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